As so often happens in life, I must admit I cannot live up to the standards set forth by Billy Ocean.
'Cos when the going gets tough
The tough get going
When the going gets rough
The tough get rough
(Billy Ocean, "When the Going Gets Tough")
I have been, as you all know, crushed of late by the volume of work and what having that volume of work means for the other things that are part of life.
The good news is, as of today, there is a very visible break in the storm in clouds, and I almost feel human again today for the first time in a long while. A backlog that has been over our heads for an incredibly long time has finally been reduced. Not only does that mean the volume of work should be normalizing, but the stress of work should also be normalizing.
Even so, I'm having to face up to reality. I am, by nature, an all-in kind of guy. Whatever I'm doing, I want to be as absolutely close to 100% effort as I can be. That sounds admirable, but only when tempered by rational thought and an honest evaluation of time, health, and energy. I lack that tempering.
And so, even in the best of times, it is in my nature to try and give 100% of myself to my job, to my writing, to my volunteer work, and so forth. Of course, this is mathematically impossible. It is also physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually impossible.
I'm looking forward to being able to get back to writing, but also realizing with some sadness that I do not relate to people can hold down jobs and pursue their writing diligently. That's too bad, because I'm someone who does have to hold down a job, and this means that my writing will always suffer some because of it.
On the other hand, being honest about this also has something of a relieving quality, as it means I probably don't need to beat myself up over it quite as much as I tend to.
I'm hoping that for the moment the easing of craziness at work will allow me to finally write and be human again. Please look up my page on Facebook, if haven't (https://www.facebook.com/c.n.nevets). I'll be probably be micro-blogging there a bit more, as that can be done in easy snippets.
.Nevets.
Nice to see you back, even if it's only for today. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of micro-blogging, have missed you on Twitter!
Welcome back, Nevets! I've missed you. Please don't defect to Facebook..
ReplyDeleteNice to see you, but I totally relate. Nobody can do everything all the time (Except maybe the Trafalmadorians of Vonnegut's Sirens of Titan, who live in all times and all dimensions at once.) I'm feeling the burn-out too. Social media AND writing AND a real life/day job is just too much to do all the time. If we all cut back, we'd have more to give in the long run. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDelete@Jennifer - Yeah, I should be back on there soon. I need to figure out how to better sift the actual communication from the pure spam, though.
ReplyDelete@Frances - Thanks! I've missed you, as well! I'm not defecting to Facebook. (I've already been there, for once thing.) Just saying that micro-blogging is a bit more maintainable when work gets crazy, if I at least let it be.
@Anne - Thanks, and you're so right. In the end, going too far in backfires more than helps.
Life happens, my friend; taking care of yourself and those you love is most important. all this online stuff is just stuff.
ReplyDeleteKnow that you are wondered about often (your remark really almost makes me wish i was still on FB)and all good thoughts and hopes are sent your way every time I think of you.
don't ever forget that even when you're not physically writing- as long as you dream of it, think of it, and do what you can when you can- a post like this, a micro-blog on FB... you are a writer.
~bru
Welcome back! I thought you'd been sent to a Brazilian prison for scaring people or something.
ReplyDeleteFunny, I was just thinking about you the other day. "Haven't seen Nevets in awhile, wonder where he is" and like a birthday candle wish, here you are.
ReplyDeleteGlad things are easing up for you. We'll see you around when you get back.
@Bru - Thank you so much. You're often thought or and wondered about and worried over, too. As much as I know that life happens and that's both inevitable and fine, I also don't like to make too sharp a distinction between "real" life and "on-line" friends. Many of my the friends I've met on-line are as perfectly real as others. Of course, the past several months I haven't had as much time for in-person friends either...
ReplyDeleteAs for Facebook, I might have to see if there is a way to pipe my Facebook status to my blog or something.
@Jake - Work is *like* a Brazilian prison. Hmm. Story possibility there.
@Anne - Thanks so much! Now if you could birthday wish that I get through my final revisions on Sublimation quickly, we'll all be set. ;)
Nevets, I have missed you terribly, and I hope you never disappear (at least not from email and fb, even) for as long again. I am happy to hear there is a break! Still, as other said above, you must do what matters most, and if that means work and family, then so be it. We all understand. Just know you were missed and we're all still here. Amazing how that works. :)
ReplyDelete@Michelle - I think that's the part that kills me... Seeing so much time and energy going to something that doesn't matter most, or really even all that much. But it's the way work goes. My personality + management position = too much work when things go astray.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, I have missed you, as well!
I don't manage it all to well either. You're doing the best you can, and setting priorities, and accepting limitations. That's tough on an over achiever personality; but I know you will always be hanging in there.
ReplyDeleteDon't stress too much Nevets. Things always have a way of working themselves out, and this slow down at work is sure to be good in lots of ways.
......dhole
@Donna - Thanks for your encouragement! I'm definitely setting priorities, but I'm not sure if I accept the limitations. lol
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to at least see you back for a bit! Sounds as if you've got quite the juggling act going on...
ReplyDelete