Friday, September 17, 2010

February Grace and the Burden of Obsession

All---

I only recently became acquainted with February Grace, but even so I found her announcement today bittersweet. A writer with a gentle honesty that can only be described as sympathetic and a voice that was tastefully rich, Bru came to a very difficult decision and retired from her blog and from writing. While I will miss her presence in the blogosphere and her writing craft, I am very happy that she had the strength to make a difficult decision. Please read her blog to hear it in her own words, but she essentially decided that writing had become a burdensome obsession in her life, not simply an art she was practicing.

The reason I wanted to talk about this in my own blog is because I hope this is sobering for other writers. I cannot even begin to count the number of authors I have met in person or in the blogosphere who describe writing as some sort of compulsion. They write because they have to. They write because the stories demand it. They write at the mercy of their characters. If this is you, please don't take offense, but I'm always a little concerned when I hear or read something like this from a writer.

It sounds an awful lot like an unhealthy relationship that for some reason we have just come to accept in our "writerly culture."

As an author, put those words into a character's mouth and see what you think.

"I love him because I have to."

"I love her because her beauty demands it."

"I am a mother at the mercy of her children."

I don't say this to belittle anyone, just to encourage you to think about why you do what you do. Do you write because you love it? Do you write because it's your job? Do you write because it's something you're good at? Or do you write because you feel compelled to?

Compulsions are not always bad. But they can lead to burn-out, frustration, and dissatisfaction. If this describes your approach to writing, I would urge you to take a few deep breaths, stand back, and get your bearings. Before writing becomes something that has trapped you, and from which you need liberation.

.Nevets.


7 comments:

  1. Great point. I found Bru's post today bittersweet as well. I understood her stance, but it made me sad. She has a lovely voice, and I will miss it. For me, I am compelled because I get this inner joy rising in me when I get swept up in writing.

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  2. I will miss her. But she said it was not making her happy, so I respect her choice.

    I would describe the need to write as an addiction, definitely. Maybe a neurological symptom. I say with no sarcasm I believe the need to write is a brain problem. But in my case, I become severely depressed only when I am NOT writing. When I am querying instead of writing, for instance, that can make me depressed as hell. So I can imagine giving up the idea of being published, but not of writing itself.

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  3. I've known Bru for only a few short months on her blog. But if it wasn't for her encouragement to get in the contest at underground- I probably wouldn't have done it. She's amazing and so very true to herself.

    I write because love to write and its my fun compulsion...lol I even like the editing process, I'm just in love with writing. I'm not out to be a best seller, what i really want to do is be paid to edit other peoples work and write on the side :)

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  4. Aww, that is bittersweet. I hope she takes a break from writing until it feels healthy for her but doesn't give it up forever.

    I think when people give the "imaginary friends" (my characters need me) or other compulsion reasons for writing, it's usually a sort of cover for not examining the true reasons why they choose to do it. I could say I feel "compelled" to write, but why? I enjoy the creative exercise, the fellowship involved with writing groups, and the sense of accomplishment. It's not as though some ghostly "muse" outside myself is possessing me and making me do it, or that my characters have become real people that talk to me. (Eek.) That's projection.

    I can understand that if someone's reasons for writing are overshadowed by their need to step away and focus on other things for awhile, that's fine, and good for them for recognizing it. It was brave of FG to analyze herself that way and come to a decision, but it would also be cool if she got to a place in her life later when she could use her skills and creativity again in a way that better suited her.

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  5. What I didn't mention in the post is that I was once where Bru was. I spent a lot of my teenage years trapped by health issues and I tapped into writing as my escape, and it quickly became a necessary outlet for me, and I would literally get fidgety if I didn't write. I generated a lot of words and many of them were pretty good (if immature), but I was really at their mercy, and like Bru I had to escape. I came back after a few years, after realizing that I could turn my opponents grip on me into leverage that gave me the control.

    @Lois, treasure that positive upswell and don't let it get away!

    @Tara, I think I can relate to what you're saying. I think the hows and whys vary from writer to writer, but to some extent it's probably true. For me it's because I have a creatively inclined brain but have a brain that is geared so heavily towards the verbal that it's virtually my only outlet.

    (That's not quite true, but I don't want to sidetrack the conversation.)

    @Summer, the world needs more good editors, so I hope you get to live out that dream!

    @Genie, I think you've hit on something there in terms of projection. With you, I am holding out hope for her return some day. I fully support her stepping away, but it would be a wonderful day to see her writing again.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nevets,

    I just stumbled on this and- I'm overwhelmed.

    Your words, and sharing your own experience from your teens, is such a gift. Thank you.

    Thanks to those who have commented, too.

    I just wish I had adequate words (that seems to be my problem these days doesn't it? Words?)to express how much I appreciate your kindness and your support.

    I went back tonight after realizing that it looked really bad that I had left the comments closed on that post- like it was people I was cutting off and not just the writing- and I made a point of posting tonight that I don't want to lose track of the folks I've met in this community even if I don't write myself. I really do care about you all as people beyond your skill as writers.

    So I hope it's okay if I still stop in and read, and comment here, when I can.

    I really do hope that in the future- in some way- words will be a part- maybe even a featured part- of my life again. But it will have to be on certain terms which I will work out as I go, if they can be worked out. It can never again be what it has become. Life is waiting. There is so much more to it than words.

    Maybe it's the age I'm getting to. Maybe it's just that I've realized, as physically sick as I've been and as people I love have been the past few years that it's time to put first things first- and then see what place, if any, the art of writing can be given.

    I feel like this comment is so badly worded but I don't know what else to say. I mean, I am a physically challenged, absolute nobody housewife from Michigan with a high school education- and yet someone like yourself took the time to write something so thoughtful wishing me well. What can you say to that?

    I am very lucky, indeed.

    Thanks again.

    ~bru

    PS I can't wait to see what you put into the Underground anthology. I tried to read your entry the other day but the PDF didn't open for me...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I wish you all the best, Bru, wherever your journey takes you. When you don't depend on writing for your happiness, you may find you can be happy writing again. And, if not, thank you for sharing your gift with us while you did.

    ReplyDelete

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